#20 A Poem for Spring

On releasing anxiety to embrace the new season

You know there’s something going on when you have a constant knot in your stomach and are having trouble falling asleep… that’s what the past few weeks have been for me. Help me, Lord! How are you doing, friends?

I guess you could say I’ve been struggling, coming out of winter, and trying to embrace spring. My work has been stressful and I’ve been managing disappointment that’s triggered some old wounds. Plus, it’s been a slow march out of the cold months.

So many thoughts are jumbled in my brain these days. In the past two weeks I’ve struggled with:

• depression

• loneliness

• anger

• catastrophizing

• ruminating

• anxiety

• insomnia

I’ve also felt the beauty of joy, gratitude, confidence, accomplishment, newness, and solitude… I keep learning how all of these things can coexist in the same season. I just need the rock of truth to keep me grounded.

When I’m struggling to make sense of my thoughts, I have to feel them somatically instead. That’s why I go to the woods or the water, and let my words flow out of me in my simple poetry.

So that’s what I wanted to share this week — a little snippet of where I am now nearly mid-way towards my 40th birthday in October. Here I am wrestling with anxiety and fear of the future as spring sets in on the Chesapeake Bay.

I don’t know about you, but I write poetry to help me believe. I hope this encourages you too, to hold on to the hope of spring, even when your hearts hurt so deeply. You’re not alone.

Otter Point Creek: The Second Day of Spring

On this second day of spring
the bay is a brilliantly cerulean blue,
rolling in wave after wave
on the wind and the tide,
the whisper of a soothing lullaby,
beckoning me to rest
on her pebbled shored.
Taunts of traffic and trains
try to interrupt,
but I am at peace here,
in spite of nagging anxieties.

For I see the way the eagle soars,
and I watch the way
the heron patiently waits,
so I know that our Creator
has my needs provided too,
and right in this moment,
He’s let the warmth of his love
touch me through the sun
on my skin, and I can feel
my soul strengthening within,
as I breathe in,
and breathe out,
I’m ready for you spring.