#2 Becoming a Real Woman in a Fairy Tale World

Join me in my 40th year as I share my journey of beauty through brokenness

Hi, I’m Bethany and I’m inviting you along as I count down each week to turning 40 next October. Here on my Substack, I’ll be sharing stories and lessons learned on my journey!

On week 2, I thought I’d share about the inspiration behind the title and the series…

The ferry traveled fast enough so that my always-unruly curls blew in the wind, and I held my belongings close to my body. The Swiss flag flapped at the bow, while the French flag whipped at the stern. During a weeklong writing intensive I had the opportunity to participate in, we had a midweek excursion to a small town on the French shoreline of Lake Geneva, just a 30 minute boat ride from the Swiss shore, close to where we were staying.

Late August sunshine beamed down on me as expectant butterflies danced within me. I had never been to France before, a country I had always wanted to visit.

The trip organizer had shared that the town - Yvoire - had the feel of the town from Beauty and the Beast, the beloved fairy tale. As I envisioned the quaint scenes from the beginning of the Disney movie with Belle frolicking through an adorable old town with the bakery and library and cute little streets, my excitement intensified.

We arrived, and I set my timer for the 2.5 hours we had to explore the town.

From the moment we set foot, I had a huge smile on my face. The town WAS adorable and felt like stepping back in time with cobblestone streets and hundreds of years old buildings. Tidy shops with delightful goods lined the streets, mixed with cafes and bakeries. A beautiful harbor housed picturesque boats bobbing in the clean, cerulean water of Lake Geneva, or Lac Leman, called locally.

There was also gelato.

And I was genuinely, joyfully, happy.

I’ll write more about this transformational writing trip as a whole, but specifically on this excursion to Yvoire, France, I experienced so much peace and joy and gratitude that the feelings were almost overwhelming to me. There was also a brimming confidence in myself that I was recognizing as new.

I felt completely content to spend the afternoon on my own and not feel the pressures to do anything in a group. That can be wonderful of course, but on this day, I just wanted to do exactly what I wanted to do on the trip - like sitting quietly by the water and sketching, or perusing a garden and sitting to work on a poem.

As this strange happiness helped me float through the quaint streets, I thought about Beauty and the Beast, and Belle who I connected with as a young girl, for her love of books, shyness, and sweetness.

I thought of how she was kidnapped and trapped; imprisoned by a raging beast. I thought of how she was responsible to “save him,” and then falls in love with him.

Then I thought of myself, trapped in an abusive marriage, hoping, and praying, and trying to save my husband, and being nearly destroyed in the process.

I am now free. But it has taken nearly 9 years of recovery - most of my 30s - to heal and get to the place of peace I found in Yvoire.

As I kept pondering Belle’s plight, I felt anger surface - why are these fairy tales the ones we tell little girls?

And that's where it hit me - amidst a meaningful week of writing retreat - enjoying gelato on the streets of an antiquated French town, I want to share my story of how I am learning to become a real, whole, healthy woman in a world that is fueled by fairy tales. Not just the ones that we’re told as little girls, that have formational power, but the ones that are fueled by social media now as adults, too. The ones that are undergirded by prosperity gospel - follow the rules and you’ll be blessed.

There are many false fairy tales that are peddled, not just to women, but men, too.

But there is only one true story - the one that God has given us in his Word. The one that has an arc of redemption.

My story, Bethany of Abingdon, is part of his story. And oh, has He been doing a redeeming work in my life.

From pit of despair to a life of peace and creativity.

I am so grateful, even as I still grieve along the way.

And that’s what this year-long writing project will be all about. I hope you’ll follow along!